An essential resource for couples in their journey to intimacy. For most couples, falling in love is one of the most intense and pleasurable experiences they'll ever have. However, neither the body nor the mind can continue this intense state forever. People must eventually come down from this natural "high", and this typically occurs somewhere between three to six months into the relationship. Now what?
Studies have shown that relationships that last over thirty years have an average of eight irreconcilable differences. Couples who seek outside, professional help for their relationship have a much higher success rate at resolving their issues and staying together than those who do not.
David draws on his training in Emotionally Focused Therapy to engage couples both individually and together on the deep emotional issues that drive their relationship. Couple dynamics are taught, including effective communication and conflict resolution. Besides David's highly trained and lengthy experience in couple counselling and general marriage help he also specializes in both individual and marital sex counselling.
Dr. McKenzie does not believe in long, drawn-out counselling. Jokingly he has been heard to say that "Couples who require more than 20 sessions should take up tennis." He identifies the issues and assists the couple in dealing with their issues within a short period of time. His style is direct but never with harshness and always with empathy and compassion. Many couples who have come to see him leave with such words as "You have gotten to our issues and done more to help us in two sessions than anyone else we have ever gone to see." Dr. McKenzie is non judgmental and never takes one side or the other of partners. He is on the side of your relationship and as stated above, moves quickly and quite directly, helping couples resolve their issues in a short period of time. Your time and your financial output for counselling is a concern for him and if a couple does their homework it can move quite rapidly.
Couples usually find resolution to their issues between six and twelve sessions on average with a respective total cost of between $1300.00 and $2300.00. If you have extended health insurance it may cover some or most of your fees. Please check with your provider to see if they cover Registered Counsellors, which Dr. McKenzie is. It is our conviction that our marriages are the most important, long-lasting relationships we will ever have and that the expenditure of financial respources should show the same level of importance as fixing our car or taking a vacation.
Services provided to couples include: marriage counselling, couple counselling, marriage help, marital sex help, couple therapy relationship, and marital sex help in the Greater Vancouver BC area. David's training in Emotionally Focused Therapy is used to help couples understand the deep emotions that drive their relationship and to create a deeper attachment. Ongoing couple dynamics are also taught and include effective communication and conflict resolution.
Read more about this essential resource for couples in their journey to intimacy:
For most people, falling in love is one of the most intense and pleasurable experiences they'll ever have. Scientific research has in fact shown us that there are physiological changes to the body's chemical makeup during this phase of a new relationship. Endorphins, the body's natural pain killers, flood into our bloodstream, giving us a feeling of euphoria and intense pleasure. However, neither the body nor the mind can continue this intense state forever. The individual must eventually come down from this natural "high", and this typically occurs somewhere between three to six months into the relationship. Now what?
Why do we fight?
For most couples, once this initial phase of a relationship comes to an end, a more difficult process begins to emerge. It is the essential stage where both partners begin to assert themselves as individuals. For some couples this can be frightening:
- Have we fallen out of love?
- Is this the person I should be with?
- This is certainly not the same person I met only four months ago!
There is no need to panic! It is quite normal to be feeling this way.
Conflict is normal and healthy.
Conflict is an essential part of any healthy relationship. Two people, each from different backgrounds and with different ideas, are bound to have disagreements and conflict. In fact, where there is no possibility of conflict, there is no possibility of relationship. The issue is not how a couple can avoid conflict, but how can a couple work through the conflict to a deeper knowledge and understanding of one's self and one's partner. When conflict is handled in a healthy way, it strengthens a relationship, with a love rooted in a friendship and based on openness, integrity, and trust. This is hard work, but in the end, well worth it!
Should we go for counselling?
Studies have shown that relationships that last over thirty years have an average of eight irreconcilable differences. The issue therefore in a relationship is never about how different the partners are, and should they therefore remain together. Rather, it is about how well the partners engage each other over their differences, in order to grow and deepen their relationship. For the most part, couples are usually able to work through many of their relationship issues. But there are situations which will eventually arise in a relationship where communication breaks down or gets stuck in a negative rut.
When this occurs, it may be time to seek the help of a professional counsellor who is trained and experienced in assisting a couple to get back on track. If both partners are motivated to learn, grow, and increase their capacity to communicate, then the chances of the relationship succeeding are very high. David McKenzie is a highly trained and experienced professional counsellor and sex therapist who can offer you the support and assistance you may require to reach the next level in your relationship.
The Dance of Intimacy
Often, the central issue which causes couples to become distant and non-communicative is that of intimacy. Intimacy, that achieved ability to open up to one another both spiritually and physically, can be a difficult task for many people. Usually, that inability to become open, trusting and vulnerable to the other has its roots deep in our childhood. Because personal issues often only arise within a relationship, it is our preferred approach to engage the couple in what is known as conjoint therapy. This is a very helpful and effective means to enabling the partners in a relationship to discover inner issues that affect both their individual lives and their relationship.
Sex is one of the most intimate and pleasurable of all human experiences. However, sex can become an arena where many of the problems in the relationship surface. If you are in such an arena of sexual difficulty you are far from being alone. Most committed relationships have problems at some time or another over sexual issues. In fact, it takes most couples an average of five years to adjust sexually. David McKenzie is a highly educated and trained professional counsellor and certified clinical sexologist in the Vancouver and Lower Mainland region of British Columbia, Canada. He treats individuals and couples of heterosexual, gay or lesbian sexual orientation, offering such clinical sexology services as: sex advice, sex therapy and sex coaching, along with marriage counselling, general marriage help, and marital sex help.
Is counselling a sign of a weak relationship?
Not at all! In fact, it is actually a sign of an emotionally mature and secure relationship. In all types of communication, whether involving nations, community organizations, or industries, if there arise issues or problems that cannot be resolved, then professionals are called in to help. Why would one's most significant adult relationship not be accorded the same serious assistance if it ran into problems that needed professional help? Couple counselling is that significant resource for the success of your relationship!
If you, or you and your partner feel the need for better communications skills, or for help to work through issues or concerns that you might be facing, why not consider contacting our office to set up an appointment. You will be treated with courtesy and respect in a professional atmosphere of care, support and privacy. We are here to help make relationships work well.
Contact a professional today. Talk To David